Bread Shoes: High Fashion Meets High Carb

Bread Shoes, now available from a company called DADADA Studio. It’s a fitting name, considering this is one of the most dadaesque things I’ve ever seen.

There’s really nothing more to do than take this product at face value: You can now buy slippers that have been carved out of two loaves of bread. Finally. After all these years of waiting, my need for edible footwear has been satiated.

There are six variations on the Bread Shoe, but unfortunately at this writing three of them are out of stock. This could conceivably be thought of as a comment on commercial culture – people seem most willing to waste money on the most disposable, idiotic products they can find – until you realize they’re actually selling these things, so they’re as subject to the laws of supply and demand as anyone. Google “Occam’s Razor” and do the math. The most likely explanation is that people are actually buying these things. They take a look at their bank accounts and say, “You know what? I deserve to splurge a little on bread you can wear on your feet.”

I would never need wearable bread enough to order it online (don’t forget, you can make your own knockoffs with just an oven and a knife), and I would go as far as to break all ties with anyone I knew who ordered these, but I don’t dislike the product itself. It’s an interesting concept, and I guess anyone who wasted their money on these only proved the artist’s statement, so it’s not hypocritical to sell them or anything. These are really just the natural extension of the Snuggie Principal of Idiotic Consumerism, and any reader who has ever worn a Snuggie will tell you that the things are at least comfortable as all hell.

Remember, the cultured gentleman should be expected to buy at least two pairs of Bread Shoes, both to be prepared for every occasion and to match his belt.