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Art…or Something like it

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January 20th, 2010

Archan Nair 409x400 Art...or Something like itStarring out into the vastness of the big ol’ blue sky. Your head on the grass. Some ants scouting your arm but you don’t care. Maybe you got some booze in you. Maybe pollen gets you high enough. You’re just there, laying on the ground. Counting those puffy things in the sky and watching them slowly change into something you recognize. This must be some kind of wonderful you say to yourself. Then. Suddenly. What strikes your daydreaming eye but a rainbow. Big and demanding in its presence. Just hanging there like some granny bra on a clothes line, gawking at you, almost mocking you. In all it’s colours and in all its radiance. It’s calling to you. Commanding you to gaze at it and shower it with praise and compliments of how beautiful it is. Truly a symbol of something tranquil, crafted only by something divine. You smile at it. Sure. Thinking what would happen if you tossed it into a rusty blender.

Archan Nair thought why only stop at a rainbow, why not toss a whole bunch of other things into the mix because irrelevant nick-nacks are so hot right now. And so was birthed art or something like it. Now. I’m all for rainbows being torn into shreds by some sort of hand held turbine. But in my head I feel that way only because rainbows are gay (not homosexually gay. Just plain ol gay gay) and way too many people give those colourful arches far too much credit.

When Archan thinks about tossing rainbows into blenders he probably thinks of how inspiring and artsy it must be. And so was birthed the self thought artist.

I tried really hard to like this, I really, really did. But in the end I found myself starring at a paperclip. Wondering what would happen if I shoved it into my ear drum. Although I’m sure it’s hard to do what he does then what I’m doing right now but I cannot, in any way, give him anything positive. I find it a failed attempt at drawing inspiration from the observer. I love flashy things with pounds and pounds of colour. But this, this just didn’t give me the right tug. The blending of colours and cropped photos try to shove inspiration down your throat, almost as if you weren’t smart enough to get it in the first place.

Thanks Archan.Appreciate it.

I can’t help but feel like I’ve seen this sort of thing so many times before. It’s like something a prepubescent girl looks for to epitomize hip and trendy. Until she grows a pair of tits and realizes that no, hip and trendy, this is not. Besides, hip and trendy isn’t the way to go. It makes me think of a lampshade Ed Hardy would do if he wasn’t such a clubbing kind of douche you know? And on some ecstasy pills. The neon looking ones. Kinda like LSD. But not really. Maybe if I took five or ten hits off a bong I might stroke my chin and say: brilliant! Powerful! Absolute Genius! But, I usually fall asleep after five tokes of a regular joint. I’m sure this guy Archan really doesn’t care what i have to say though. He’s making his living doing this so called art for big name companies. So good for him, another good example for me to sulk at how unsuccessful i am.

Thanks Archan. Appreciate it.

But I guess that sort of explains his whole portfolio. Working for big name companies. Trying to appeal to a younger crowd with something flashy, vibrant, eye catching, i-pod-esque tossing, young and oh so unique. I like to think of myself as not a total tool. But I’m not all that bright. Whatever though.  What does it matter what i think right? I don’t know the first thing about art. I only know what i like you know? Pretty sure its not this though. To the oh so many people who read these, my useless thoughts, you should be encouraged to give out your opinion and speak whether this garbage inspires you or not. Just not to me. I really couldn’t care less.

Not all of Archan’s things were completely terrible. But when you have a huge shit tree with lots of shit apples some are bound to be half decent right? These are the ones that i  gave a second glimpse. Not more than a second though.If you would like to see more of his work. Just. Click. Here.

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