Anne Geddes, you suck
Jan Von Holleben has brought new meaning to child pornography photography in ways which must have Anne Geddes fuming; gone are the lame-ass days of babies dressed as flowers and rabbits– that was soooo pre-Blu Ray technology, Anne. No one cares about your calendars anymore.
Pronounced “Yan,” for all you lacking in the art of Northeastern European pronunciation, this man, who by the way is much cooler than you’ll ever be, “lived most of his youth in an alternative commune environment.” Whatever the fuck that means. Read more confusing things about his life here. Apparently he also became submerged within the London photographic scene; I hope he was wearing his bathing suit!!
His photographs are really something. In his “Dreams of Flying” collection, Von Holleben captures pre-teens in fantasy or action shots, but lying on the ground in a way to make it appear as though they are in motion. I know that may sound really unclear, which is why you must click on the thumbnails below. I realize that a lot of films use this trick, like when Spiderman is scaling a building, Tobey Maguire’s stunt double is really just walking on a model of a side of a building lying on the floor. But this is beside the point. These photographs are seriously cool, not only because the accurately represent the games and fantasies enacted by children of many generations, but they also present a great visual. Also, Jan Von Holleben has bolstered my previously lagging confidence; no longer must I cry because my being a total pussy has shattered my dreams of becoming a world-travelling adventurer. Jan made me realize that all I need to fulfill my dreams are a few household items and the asphalt in my driveway. This man has affected my life in a way previously unmatched by any living individual, leading me to only have to say one thing: Eat your heart out, Anne Geddes!!